you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
