Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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