Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Randomize
