Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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