I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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