I got her a Nickelback box set.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She just used a chaser for red wine.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i now understand why vodka
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
