If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
