Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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