I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
