last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
