No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
