this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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