hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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