Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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