I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
