I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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