what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
