Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
