and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
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The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
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He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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