I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
