hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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