I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
