I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize