worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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