K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
