Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
