I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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