East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
