So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
