Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
