And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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