If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize