was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
