Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
