All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
