My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
