i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
