can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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