I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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