Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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