I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?