my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
