I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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