i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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