so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
