Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
