Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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