I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The air was thick with penises
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Bring me that man meat
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
