So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Girls should come with a carfax report
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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