they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize