dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
