found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
