3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
