I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
