My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
