dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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