It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
