We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
