You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
