look no pants
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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