haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
