I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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