im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
