Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I intend to get homeless drunk
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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