i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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