What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
